in_praetego | (no subject)

( she isn't even ready for kissing, she wants to say but holds her tongue from spilling out all her feelings in the moment. it's already taken an insane amount of self-determination to even get this far. perhaps enough to fulfill her quote for the rest of the year...

maybe because her embarrassment quota certainly hasn't been reached. the suggestion is met with a flush of her own, staring downwards at the table and then her hands as she grips at the fabric of her dress. )

I don't know if I'll ever get used to all this but if it's with you then I think it'll be okay. ( she admits, breathing out another sigh of air and ignoring how warm she feels looking upwards at him. ) I just don't want all these... firsts of mine to be with a stranger.

Edited 2018-03-26 12:15 (UTC)

To be honest, I didn't think I'd get used to it at all, either I... gave my first time to someone I'd met here, actually. He was... gentle. And patient.

[ Yes, he.

Again, that pang in his chest. He's thoughtful as he speaks, hoping telling her this will soothe her somewhat.

Lost isn't quite the right term. Nothing was taken or stolen. It had been asked for and he gave it. And while he isn't quite used to it, her certainly is more open to the idea now. Not enough to go and seek out sex casually but enough to use it as a means to earn a few extra credits. Especially now that he's made up his mind to do so in order to help Shiemi get by. Part of him can't stomach the thought of her being pushed into this just to survive. ]

...but I can see why you'd want those firsts to be with someone you trust. I'm... honored that you trust me enough to.

[ There's a small chuckle as the circumstances leading to his first come to mind. ]

Just... be careful of what you eat or drink here.

You saved my life, Yuki. You were my first friend.

( once more, she does not show in signs of surprise or any ill emotion. in fact, shiemi almost looks a little sad as she looks upwards at him. it's hard not to when he sounds so sad when speaking as he does. it's different from the sort of sadness she spoke with that night in the snow, realizing something was there but unable to pinpoint and figure out just what it might be.

perhaps she'd have a better understanding if her thoughts were not swimming, leaving her in a haze of warmth but smiling slightly at him. soothed enough that she can answer his chuckle with one of her own. )

Like chocolate the gave me? I'll really have to be careful then but it's not bad, I just feel warm and I... ( she begins, unmoving but shifting slightly in her seat. she's heard of liquid courage but this is clearly another thing all together. ) Hey... is it okay if I kiss you?

[ Her first friend... in a way, she was his first proper friend, too. So... it's only right that he can trust her. That's how he feels, at least. That he can trust her. Trust was always such a huge hurdle for him. Maybe God had thought to give him a second chance to try this trust thing all over again, this time with someone he already knew.

Her words though cause his eyes to widen slightly, a faint flush coming to his cheeks as he turned his attention to her directly.

...Kiss me, first.

He'd only ever kissed one person since coming here. Hell, he hadn't kissed anyone else since that last night. After that, he was certain he'd never kiss anyone ever again or want to.

Until today.

Silently, he breathed in before shifting closer. It felt like his chest was going to burst. His hand moved, lightly slipping through her hair as he tilted his head slightly as he inched himself closer. Fine. This was fine. It was just Shiemi and it wasn't like she was a complete stranger. His lips brushed against hers as an offer for her to close the distance when she felt comfortable enough to. His hand moved over hers again just so he had something to hold to.

Maybe all he needed was to kiss someone else... ]

( her face is flushed but she remains focused on his face, watching his reaction and trying to judge what might be going through his mind. it was a bold, sudden question-- she knows this. a part of her wonders if she might have pushed to far, too quickly despite why she came here to start with.

yet, he moves in closer and her heart begins to pound louder in her chest. it's so loud she think he might can hear it if it doesn't burst out of her chest first. with a shaky breath, she shifts in her seat and lets the faint brush of their lips together linger before urge herself forward and let the distance between them vanish.

it's nothing like the manga she read with izumo, she decides. it's nothing like she imagined her first kiss might have going but... it works wonders to quell her nerves, returning the kiss with a earnest softness. it lets her push her frazzled nerves back as she turns her hand over, lacing their fingers together as he had done before as the other reaches upward to softly cup his cheek. )

[ For some reason, he can't recall if he's ever imagined giving Shiemi his first kiss. Maybe once. Twice. Maybe when he was younger and had less on his mind and could actually consider having crushes was something he could indulge in. But times change and people get busy... especially when you end up becoming some kind of prodigy that gets their license early. Suddenly, your life is a mess of chasing after demons and daydreams of kissing your childhood friend remain daydreams.

Suddenly you've lost your first kiss to a man with crimson eyes that make you wonder if you're about to bed a demon.

Suddenly you have to shove aside memories of that kiss when you realize your childhood friend's lips taste faintly of chocolate.

It's certainly nothing like a manga... certainly not how his younger self might have imagined kissing her would be like. But his hand moves to secure hers to his cheek, leaning against it slightly as he slipped the fingers of his free hand through her hair. With that, he drew back ever so slightly just to part their lips and take a breath. ]

How was that?

( it's almost overwhelming. honestly, shiemi tries not to think on to hard on the moment out of that deep fear lingering in her heart that she might second guess herself (as she always does) or take off in embarrassment (which has happened more than once) to hide in her own cabin. yet, despite her worrying thoughts, she draws closer to him and tries to ignore the loud drumming in her ears. what she can't ignore is the jolt that passes down her spine as his fingers comb through her hair nor how he moves to hold her hand, holding it close against his face.

she feels surprised at every turn though, in truth, the biggest surprise is how much she likes this. likes kissing him. he was her childhood friend, her first friend and she cared for him without doubt but this... this feeling burning in her chest was completely different.

there is a stillness on her part as he pulls back, feeling his breath as she blinks once and then twice. how was that? words don't even make sense in her head anymore and talking seems to have utterly failed her as she looks to him with flushed features. she does the only thing she can think of in the moment, her only way of getting all of her feelings across and leans in to capture his lips in another kiss. chocolate coated courage, indeed. )

[ She was always such a timid thing next to him. It only made him feel responsible for her, like he was the one who had to be her support when she felt her most vulnerable. It's only more blatant with how he can feel her pulse racing as she takes that second kiss.

He has to give her cudos though. He was never that bold.

Actions do speak louder than words though. With that, his arms move around her waist to draw her closer against him in a tight hold. It was almost as if he wanted to assure her with that movement. He was there. She wasn't alone. She wouldn't have to go this alone like he had for a brief moment of time. No one was going to hurt her. He wouldn't let them. ]

( it feels like her mind has frazzled out in a million different directions. yet there is comfort to be found, she finds, when yukio wraps his arms around her waist and draws her closer against him. the tension in her body seems to melt away, her shoulder slumping as she presses close and let's her arms wrap around his neck.

although her heart continues to hammer in her chest, she slowly grows more comfortable in the moment though she tries to keep things... simple. after all, she hardly knows what she likes let alone what he might like. she's dizzy from the reality of everything when she pulls her face back just fraction after a long moment. )

I like it. ( she breathes her belated answer barely above a whisper as their bodies remain pressed close together, noses touching and so close to another kiss. this boldness of hers had always been useful in a fight but this was so much different yet she won't let herself back down. ) I really like kissing you. I want to keep kissing you...

( a blush appears despite herself and she smiles, fingers gripping at the fabric of his clothes where her arms are wrapped around his neck. )

Edited 2018-03-29 03:00 (UTC)

[ When he first arrived, he didn't know what he liked. Heck, he wasn't sure he knew what he liked right now. It was still, suffice to say, a work in progress. He knew what felt good, knew how to make his usual partner feel good but as to what he liked specifically... he had no clue.

But kissing, he decided, was probably one of those things. Kissing felt nice. Warm. Assuring. No matter who it was with. Or maybe it felt especially warm and assuring when it was with someone you felt a particular closeness to.

He couldn't help the faint flush that came to his cheeks and the smallest smile (something he hadn't done for what, weeks now?) at her words. ]

Then... you shouldn't hold yourself back. If it feels good.

( she can't help noticing the flush of color to his cheeks and the small, barely visible, curl of his lips. it makes her break out in a smile of her own, warm and wide with the smallest nod of her head.

his words weren't wrong, she shouldn't hold herself back but— )

... Would that be okay with you? You've always helped me whenever I needed it. ( her gaze flickers downwards, look thoughtful. ) But I don't want you to have to force yourself to help me now.

It's fine. Really. You wouldn't be forcing me to do anything.

[ His hand seeks hers out again, resting over hers as he lightly stroked it with his thumb. If he were to be perfectly honest, she would be helping him keep his mind off things. Off people. Certain people who up and disappeared without a trace for some reason or another. His chest had started to hurt a little less.

He found himself able to smile again... but then she'd always been good at that. ]

( once more, the simple act of him taking her hand is enough to settles her frayed nerves back into something manageable. she breathes out a small sound but nods, chuckling faintly. )

I'm glad, Yuki. (but now here comes the important question: ) Could... um, would it be okay we sat down?

( because he is tall and she is... not and, as shiemi was learning, having to stand on your tiptoes for make-outs was awkward. )

Sure.

[ He seems to hesitate slightly before slipping his hand into hers, taking it with him as he moves. There really isn't anywhere else he can offer her. He didn't have a couch, after all. The only option is his bed.

But he sits down on one side. There's a small apologetic smile as he leads her to sit next to him. The other side is more rumpled, as if someone had gotten up from it and had barely fixed it before leaving.

He barely gives that side of the bed a second glance. ]

There's... really nowhere else. I'm sorry.

[ There's a soft laugh there and a sheepish smile back. ]

( she lets him lead her to the bed, squeezing his hand gently and only giving the bed one quick glance over. bed, right, of course. it wasn't like he was going to have them sit on the floor but she can feel her heart racing once more as she follows his direction, sitting beside him and ignoring how it felt to be pressed close to him once again.

or, maybe, it was best not to ignore it. so instead she looks up to him and smiles, chuckling. )

N-no, it's okay. You don't have to apologize. ( she'll feel bad if he does... ) This is fine.